If you can't get out of it, get into it.

I’m grateful that every one of my money management clients trusts me enough to let me in on some personal and emotionally-charged topics. There’s always a reason they’re stuck feeling confused, anxious or broke and many times it’s this: they’re dwelling on past money mistakes. 

For my business clients, money mistakes often include spending money on something you regret, borrowing money you wish you hadn’t borrowed, agreeing to something you wish you could take back, or any combination of the above.

Then, those decisions hang over your head and you feel embarrassed or ashamed about it forever. Here’s the thing: if you can’t undo it, you have to accept that it happened, learn the underlying lesson, and move on.

In short: If you can’t get out of it, get into it.

Here are ideas on how to actually do each of those steps:

1. Accept that it Happened. It’s usually helpful to talk to somebody to accomplish this. Just saying the things out loud takes an invisible weight off your shoulders. Enlist someone who’s not judgmental, specifically tell them you need them to listen and not be judgmental, and then talk through what happened. If you’re into journaling or really can’t bring yourself to tell someone, you can also write about it.

I suggest using this format:

I spent X dollars on X thing.

I thought it was going to [whatever outcome you were hoping for].

Actually it [actual result you got].

Now I feel like [all the feels and negative self-talk you’re experiencing].

2. Learn the Underlying Lesson. The things you’re talking about or writing down in step one should break loose some productive thoughts on the underlying lesson you can learn. 

In addition to “I’ll never do X specific thing again”, what could you have done differently?

Ask more questions?

Give yourself 24 hours to cool off and then make a decision?

Put together a realistic list of what actions you would need to take to get what you want out of the situation?

Set basic criteria for how to make similar decisions next time?

3. Move On. After you’ve accepted that it happened and reflected on the underlying lesson, you need to move on. Please give yourself permission to move on!

In practical terms, that means determining the steps you need to take to deal with the situation and then doing them without beating yourself up about it. 

For example, maybe you took out a loan for a new car. Now you feel like it was a stretch, but you’ve determined that your path forward is to keep the car and make the payments.

Your job is to NOT get into a negative thought spiral every month when you send the payment. Instead, remind yourself that you made a decision, you’re handling it, and now you’re wiser for it. 

If you do these steps, I think you’ll find yourself feeling more confident about the specific situation AND your overall ability to manage money.

It works because you shut down the negative self-talk and replace it with reminders that you’re handling it (which boosts your sense of control and self-efficacy). 

If you need more encouragement or perspective on money mistakes, check out this podcast interview I did with Kristy Carruthers on One Step Empire. 

If you need help getting a handle on money management in your business so you can stop feeling confused, anxious, or broke, let’s talk options.